YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM ILLINOIS IF:
>
>
>
>  1.  You've never met any celebrities.
>
>  2.  Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on
the
>  highway.
>
>  3. "Vacation" means going to Six Flags.
>
>  4.  You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
>
>  5.  You measure distance in minutes.
>
>  6.  You know several people who have hit a deer.
>
>  7.  Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
>
>  8.  Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
>
>   9.  You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
>
>  10. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
>
>  11. You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
>
>  12. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
>
>  13. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
>
>  14. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
>
>   15. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in
it
>  no matter what time of the year.
>
>  16. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition.
>     Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to town I wanna go with."
>
>  17. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit,
vegetable,
>  grain, or animal.
>
>  18. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave
>  both unlocked.
>
>  19. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and
Jell-O
>  salad with marshmallows.
>
>  20. You carry jumper cables in your car.
>
>   21. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is.
>
>  22. You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
>
>  23. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
>
>  24. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
>  snow.
>
>  25. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
>
>  26. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
>
>  27. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one
page
>  but requires 6 pages for sports.
>
>  28. You think that deer season is a national holiday.
>
>  29. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
>
>  30. You find -20 degrees F "a little chilly."
>
>  31. You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and
>  Construction.
>
>  32. You know if another Illinoisan is from southern, middle or northern
>  Illinois as soon as they open their mouth.
>
>  33. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 of
more.
>
>  34. You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your friends
from
>  Illinois.