You might be a redneck volunteer fire department if . . .
your department has ever had two emergency vehicles pulled over for drag racing while going to a scene
you have naked lady mud flaps on your pumper
your firehouse has wheels
you've ever got back and found you've locked yourself out of the firehouse
fire training consists of everyone standing around a fire get'n drunk
you've ever been toned out on an out house fire--also if that out house fire was with entrapment
you've ever let a person's house burn down because they wouldn't let you hunt their ground
your personal vehicle has more lights on it than your house has lights in it
you've ever walked through a Christmas display and walked away with at least 3 new ideas for a light scheme for your truck
your rescue can smoke the tires
your department's name is misspelled on your equipment
the nurses and doctors turn out the lights and hide when you show up at the hospital to get your equipment
dispatch can't mention your name without laughing
the local news crew won't put your department on T.V. because you embarrassed them last time.
you've ever locked the keys in your trucks
you've ever referred to a light bar as sexy
your defib consists of a marine battery, a pair of jumper cables, and a fish finder
you've ever taken a girl out in a pumper
your pumper has been on fire more times than it's been to a fire
your pumper smokes more than the house fire
you've ever been arrested for indecent exposure at a house fire
you've ever called it quits on a house fire when the beer got hot
you've ever been late to a house fire because you had to stop and get the guy who fell off the truck
you've ever stopped in route to pick up a road kill
you hand out spit cans before each meeting
you have a sign out front of your station that says will fight fires for beer
you're equipment has chew stains down the sides of 'em
everyone on your department is related in some way or another